I -really- need to get better at this letter writing business. The last five months have been a whirlwind of STUFF and it has finally slowed down. As of 4 pm August 19th, I am no longer a student (unless the school comes back and says I didn’t finish something). I am having an extremely difficult time coping with this loss of identity, but so much is happening this week that I should come out okay. For a while at least
First Boyfriend and I have started combining our finances and bills as of yesterday. We now have a joint credit card, and our insurance will be on the same account soon. Our motorbikes won’t be until next year, but it is a start. We are going to the bank today to discuss our accounts and open me my own chequing account. We have had the joint account for the last few years to hide my inheritance from the Student Loan Sharks. If there was any substantial dollar value in my individual account, I wouldn’t qualify for loans. It is all good now that I am finished my degree. I get to be an adult again.
Dad told me that, because I am the first in my family to finish university, he is going to make my loan “disappear”. Attending this new university has been an eye-opener for the amount of privilege I have in life. I am a university graduate with no student debt, a house, a car that is paid for, and a bank account with at least four digits.
Privilege is a word that is getting thrown around a lot these days. Most online conversation is centered around privilege and feminism. There is a group called the MRAs who like to show up at rape trials or consent rallies with signs that say things like “Rape Culture is a MYTH”. They argue that women have ALL the equality, and that they need to fight for men’s rights like custody and the ability to show emotions. Some of them call themselves meninists. Feminism is fighting for most of the things they are, but they are also fighting for a world where I don’t lose my job when two of my coworkers take advantage of me with drugs in my drink and then tell everyone at work that I was just “thirsty” and couldn’t handle the “regret”.
Sorry. That rant was probably unnecessary, but I can’t find a safe space on the interwebz. The world has changed so much since our 4am MSN chat dates and the old Runelords (I should see if that still exists…)
Wedding planning is going smoothly. I have only cried once because of the caterer so far. Our wedding is on August 31st at 10 am, and the reception will be November 14th. We were planning on being in Las Vegas this week anyway because of Graduation Adventuring, so instead of paying $2000 CND for a wedding in the mountains, we spent $300 to do it in Vegas.
We fly out on the 26th, stay in Vegas until the 2nd, fly to Phoenix, and fly home on the 10th. While we’re there, I am going to apply for jobs, and the day I get home, I am going to change my name. I never believed I would ever get married after the hell I went through with Lumberjack, but it just makes sense for First Boyfriend and me. It will make buying a house, getting benefits, and filing taxes easier.
My dress is black, 1950s style, knee length, and poofy with red crinoline. There is also an appropriate amount of cleavage showing, which is a bonus. Steve will be wearing a black on black suit with a cherry red tie to match my crinoline. We are going to look so cute.
Animal assisted therapy is an amazing thing. Are the dogs still there? Are there any black labs? Will you get to train a dog?
My BPD is more of a “oh poo, irrational brain is dominant today. I should stay away from people I love” thing. There are triggers, but they aren’t always evident until it is too late. I can -usually- avoid them after the first time though.
I really hope you can find an accountability partner. They are really useful and hold you up when you feel weaker. I wonder if there is any kind of sponsorship program for this like there is in AA, CA, NA, EA, etc.? That would be hard to set up given the nature of the situation, but it could be a beneficial program. For some people, religion IS enough accountability, but I think it depends on your relationship with your religious symbol. I wonder if there are any psych studies on this…
50 Shades of Grey is a Twilight fanfic written by EL James. She changed the characters from vamps to humans, and gave them ridiculous personality traits. The book tries to represent BDSM, but ignores all the important rules. The way the guy treats the girl in the book is very similar to the way Lumberjack treated me, but everyone thinks it’s okay because he is rich, which makes his behaviour “romantic”. I wrote a paper on 50 Shades is Abuse on Twitter for my Sociology of Social Change class. I ended up getting a 95 on it.
Are you allowed to play D&D yet, or is it still a security risk?
My birthday was June 5th, and I got a tattoo that day to help me get through the icky stuff that normally comes around that time.
I will send you pictures once I am working and can afford to print them. One of my lizard, one of you and I, and one from my wedding.
Remember, I love jooooooooo!
Ps. How was the visit with your mom and your aunt?
Pss. This was only 4 pages. What is wrong with me? ❤